


Our Hearts, Beating Together At Last

by Oedaziel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, demon!cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-09
Updated: 2013-06-09
Packaged: 2017-12-14 09:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/835302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oedaziel/pseuds/Oedaziel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the prompt "demon!Cas overcomes possession for Dean"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Hearts, Beating Together At Last

**Author's Note:**

> For my lovely Amy!

Cas was lost the first couple of days after he fell. Without his grace, he had no idea where he was. He learned from the signs that he was in Pennsylvania, around a small town called Briar Creek. Otherwise, he had no clue if it was in the North or in the South. He had a couple of bucks with him – not much, really. He had never actually needed any money. The sole time he had, he had pick pocked Dean in order to buy some groceries.

Even after observing humanity for so long, he didn’t know what he could do. He could try to beg in order to buy a bus ticket, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. He wasn’t desperate. He was an angel, after all. Or had been.

Instead, he hitchhiked.

For a long time, Castiel stood next to a road still with an outstretched arm and the thumb standing in a universal gesture. No one seemed to want to help him. After a couple of hours, he started to walk by the road, following the panels. Eventually, someone would pick him up. At least, that’s what he thought.

It was dark when he finally arrived at his first destination. It was another village; he suspected there was no big city nearby. But that was always Castiel’s luck, every time he needed the Winchesters, he had to be stuck as far away from them as he could get. He guessed he could be happy that he still was in America. Small victories.

His stomach growled, interrupting his thread of thoughts. Now that he was human, he would need to feed. Just another worry when he had finally begun to see the bright side. He ran his hands in his pockets and picked the few dollars he had. He sighed loudly and glared at the bills. He didn’t have a lot and even though he was hungry, he could still manage to stand it. He figured it would be better to spare them for a darkest day. For now, he decided to stop and have some rest. He hadn’t the strength to walk to the next city. Plus he could hear Dean’s voice in his head telling him that it was dangerous to travel during nighttime. It was ironic that his conscience wore Dean’s voice where Dean was the most irresponsible living human being when it came to his own safety.

Without much of a thought, Castiel sat on a bench and fell asleep almost right away.

He was woken up in the early morning by a stranger in a police uniform telling him that he couldn’t stay there. A few people were glaring at him, some even looked disgusted. It was all Castiel needed to know that it was time to go.

The journey was long and terribly dull. His legs were hurting from the previous walk. Unsurprisingly, his sleep hadn’t been restoring at all. It was almost midday when a car pulled over and a young woman made him sign to enter. Castiel didn’t think twice before doing so.

“Where are you going?” The woman asked once he sat on the front seat.

“As close to Philadelphia as you can go.” Castiel answered.

The woman nodded and started the car. It was nice to be ridding the shotgun. The Winchesters never let him do so. The only time he could, it was when one of them wasn’t present.

“So,” The woman begun, after a couple of miles. “What’s your name?”

“James Novak,” Castiel lied. He figured people would ask him that kind of question. He couldn’t tell the truth. People have to lie when they really want something, he had been told, and Castiel really wanted to go back to the Winchesters. It wasn’t like the woman would believe him if he told the real story anyway. Plus, he couldn’t risk attracting danger or raise suspicions. Demons still wanted him dead and a fallen angel could be a great price for a lot of creatures. “From Minnesota,” Castiel added because it was usual for humans to tell where they’re from. It’s a stupid habit, if you asked Castiel, because they’re all from Earth and are all God’s creations and God doesn’t care where they were born. They all belong to Heaven.

“Sweet. I’m Stacy. Nice to meet you Jim.”

The following half hour was spent in silence. Stacy didn’t say anything else and Castiel was grateful for the silence. Human interactions still made him uncomfortable sometimes. He didn’t want to be kicked out the car before he reached his destination, so it was better to stay that way, just in case. But human’s curiosity has always been their greatest gift and Castiel’s downfall.

“So, what’s up with Philly? What are you gonna do there?” Stacy inquired.

“Not much of Philadelphia. I’m going elsewhere; it’s just a big city. It’s easier to find people there.” Castiel drifted off.

“What, some friends?” She continued, enthusiastic. “A girlfriend, maybe?” She looked at him expediently with raised eyebrows.

“Friends.” Castiel breathed. “The road!” It always made him uncomfortable when Dean stopped watching the road to look at him. He was always worried he would crash the car and get hurt. At the time, he was an angel so he didn’t care much about being injured himself, but time changes and he didn’t trust Stacy with a car the same way he did with Dean.

Sighing, she corrected the trajectory of the car. Then, out of nowhere, she said; “I can take you to them.”

Castiel narrowed his eyes. He knew charity was one of the values some humans tried to follow, but this was too big to be believable. “Why?” he asked because that was the sole thing that came to his mind. It was the sole thing that mattered, too.

“Because you seem lost.” She shrugged as if it was an explanation. She didn’t even know where he was going. It could be States away. No, something was missing and he knew it. If there was a chance she had bad intentions, he couldn’t risk bringing her near the Winchesters, even if the proposition was tremendously appealing.

“I’ll be fine, thank you.” He smiled at her the best way he could.

Stacy slammed the brake violently and turned to him “As you wish, angel.”

He didn’t have time to panick or scream, or anything besides crawl backward, before black smoke made its way through his throat. He tried to move, but his muscles weren’t responding. He tried to cry for help, but it was all stuck inside his head. Even human, he had never felt so powerless. He shook his whole body, slammed against the wall of his own mind, though the only reaction was a chuckle of the demon.

“Shush, angel. I’m trying to work here.”

The next thing he knew, there was something else penetrating his mind and he saw flashes of memories. They were all related to the Winchesters.

“You don’t even know exactly where they are.” He heard his voice say. It was lighter than his own, but very resembling. No, he didn’t know where they were exactly. He could guess the area, but he’d have to search a bit before finding the human entry. When he was brought there with them, he was very bloody and vaguely conscious, just enough see a blurred vision of Dean in the rearview mirror. The other time, he wasn’t in his best shape when he went out to buy some groceries for Dean.

“Gee, you got it bad for the older one, dontcha?” The demon chuckled once again with his voice and Castiel had never been so repelled by their kind than he was at the moment. “I prefer the big one, if you ask me. Maybe you’ll get a try, yeah?” The demon, Stacy, looked in the mirror and winked at him. He realised suddenly he knew enough to bring her right to the brothers and with his meatsuit, she would be able to fool them long enough to approach them and kill them while they’re not expecting it.

After pushing the woman’s body out of the car, the demon stopped talking and drove them to the batcave. In the meantime, Castiel spent hours trying to push the demon away, to gain control of his body. But he couldn’t always be conscious – most of the time, the demon put him in a dream trance and he lost the notion of time more often than not. Sometimes, his own mind decided shut up; the more he fought, the more unbearable the whole situation was.

“You better calm the fuck down, chuckles. The only reason you’re still alive is because the King put a nice price on your head, but I can live without.” That’s the last thing he heard before the black smoke strangled his to unconsciousness.

 

***

 

They arrived around noon the following day. Cas, who has been ‘sleeping’, became brutally aware of the surroundings when he heard Dean voice call his name.

“Where the hell have you been?” Dean shouted at him, looking angrier than ever. He was waiting on the front door, arms crossed. His whole body was screaming resent, but Castiel knew the reason why he was so pissed was because a few minutes after he bailed on him again, there was a rain of angels. Dean must have been worried. It strangely made his heart skip a beat.

Quickly, Castiel stored the thought aside. He needed to focus on Dean’s safety only. He’ll have a whole human lifetime to hate himself after he assured Dean’s safety.

“Sorry, I was a bit busy.” The demon shrugged his shoulders. “Are you gonna let me in or what?”

Dean pursed his lips and turned away. Castiel could see by the rigidity of his shoulders and the position of his body that he had been under a lot of stress. Finally, he sighed. “Yeah, follow me.”

They entered in the bunker and Sam was nowhere to be seen. It figured he would be resting in his room at the moment. It’d take more than a few days to recover from the trauma, if ever. Inside, Castiel was patiently waiting, gathering his forces to use in the right time. Now that Dean was just a couple of steps away, he could feel his rage start to bubble, ready to explode against the demon.

“The room is over here.” Dean called.

“The room?” The demon raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, the aid kit is there. Must’ve been a pretty big fall.” Dean said incredulously. 

She didn’t object further and got into the room without much of a whine. As soon as the door closed, he felt Dean’s hand on him, pushing him against the wall and a cold silver blade pressing against his throat.

“Who the fuck are you?” Dean growled.

The demon at least had the sense of looking surprised. “Dean, what are you doing? It’s just me!”

Dean chuckled low, and Cas could feel his eyes glaring at his meatsuit. “Yeah, you know, Cas and I have been there and done that. I know you’re not Cas, so who the fuck are you?” Dean pressed the knife menacingly but it only made her laugh.

“Really? You’re gonna kill me if I don’t tell you?” The demon pushed Dean violently away without a beat. She walked towards Dean, a sly smile creeping on his face. She took the knife on the ground and slipped it against Castiel’s skin without cutting. Dean stifled immediately. “Right, your angel friend isn’t so much of an angel anymore, is he? I die, he dies.” The demon kicked Dean straight in the face, making his head crash against the wall. Inside, Castiel was storming. His new soul was fighting his way in the smoke that was trying to swallow him down. Castiel didn’t know where to go; there was no light. He had no clue how to overcome the possession. He just couldn’t do anything except smash the smoke that was compressing him into a tiny ball. The darkness was surrounding him when he heard Dean talk again.

“Cas, I’ve been through this. You kicked Naomi’s ass back to Heaven, you can smite this sonavabitch.” Dean spat some blood before looking right at him. “Cas, I told you I needed you. I still do.”

The demon gripped Dean by the hair of his neck and begun to cut Dean’s collarbone. Castiel was panicking. Dean wasn’t really fighting back. The sole time he felt this helpless was when he almost killed Dean in the cript. The situation was too similar. He wanted to scream, to regain possession of his body, but the only thing he could do was keep his body from cutting too deep.

“Yeah, you always do. Must be nice to have your own personal pet.” The demon said and Castiel stilled for a few seconds. Hearing that was like drowning in cold water; his whole soul felt numb and every movement he made was slowed by a wave of feelings and each one of them was excruciating, stabbing him like a million blades. It didn’t make him stop fighting; it didn’t matter how Dean considered him, he would still die for him without question.

The demon slammed Dean’s head against the wall. She was trying to take Ruby’s knife from Dean’s hand when Dean punched her in the face. “No” Dean chocked. He tried to stand up but didn’t succeeded before the demon kicked him in the ribs, making him bend over. With a firm grip and a sneer, she straightened him by the jaw. “It’s cos I love him.” Dean finished.

For a split of seconds, there was just the two of them. Cas looked at Dean like it was the first time he ever saw him. He was speechless. What could he possibly say? There was so much running in his head, so much he wanted to say. But he could feel the demon struggling and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold him back much longer. Castiel caressed Dean’s jaw with his thumb to distract him while he gripped the hand with the knife and stabbed himself under the heart.

“No!” Dean rasped.

Castiel tried to say Dean’s name, to tell him that everything would be alright, but he only managed to rumble and vomit blood. His knees wobbled and he collapsed on his feet, incapable to hold himself together anymore. The fall was amortized by Dean’s body. Cas imagined more than he felt Dean’s arms around his waist, pulling him against his body. Cas laid his head against his shoulder and exhaled a shaky breath.

“Cas! Don’t you dare bail on me!” Dean menaced, but there was terror in his voice. Castiel hated that. He hated that something could do this to Dean. He wanted to chase Dean’s fears away. “Don’t you dare.” Carefully, he pressed Cas’ head against his temple and kissed his forehead.

Dean was so close he could feel the warmth of his body against his. Cas tried to focus on his face but everything was storming and spinning around. He closed his eyes a few seconds before opening them again. It was still blurry, but he could see more clearly now. He looked up to meet Dean’s eyes and smiled feebly. He could consider himself a lucky man if the last thing he ever saw was Dean Winchester. There was no better way to die than to die in the arms of the sole person you would live for. The only regret he’d ever have is that he never got to say that he loved Dean, too.


End file.
